I think I’m making the right choice by deciding to fast for the next few days, while I work through all this mess that I need to examine. Only tea and water. I feel like my mind and heart have been put through a blender. And, I’m just falling apart in itty-bitty torn, shredded pieces. All this disappointment from myself and my professor and the lack of connection with those around me, specifically with others that are in my major is taking a huge toll on me and I’m questioning whether my life is going in the direction it should be. Am I really supposed to be a photographer? A photography major? A student in college? Where is my life going? Why am I even here, because I feel like I’m wasting my time. I’ve no time to invest into people and impact them, and I’m a very relationally oriented person. It’s all boggling and confounding me. I feel so disoriented, so I’m going to fast and try to see if this choice will help me find some closure in the mess I’ve reaped. This utter disconnect is weighing heavily on my everything: heart, soul, mind, spirit. Everything. Such a downward spiral that I wasn’t expecting at all to have.

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