I love conversations with people. I love discussing anything and everything with them. The best conversations are ones that are with those know and understand there won’t always be an agreement on everything and respect that. They don’t try to be aggressive or defensive about their opinions and beliefs. They accept you despite of the diffence and love you through it. That in return deepens the relationship and allows more discussion and depth. A realization I came upon being with a friend and her loverly family this week. Another realization is that through all the circumstances I’ve been going through, I am still blessed beyond measure. I know I am far from perfect in this department, but I know I’ve been blessed with people like that in my life.

Adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.

If I muster even a single word of every spoken and unspoken language, but love is not flowing through each part of my pronunciation, I have become destructive static and annoying alarm sounds. If I can touch upon the vast expanse of understanding and knowledge of the never ending mysteries of the world, if my faith stirs mountains into motion, but I have no grasp upon love, I am for naught. If I rid myself of my possessions and even cede my existence in order to indulge my prideful ambitions, but I held no love for others, I am a nonentity.

My dissatisfaction with someone or something should have no bearing on the love that I give them, for what if I was the dissatisfaction of someone or doing something to the dissatisfaction of another? I am also to add that I know that I am for some people. For, I may not approve or even for an inkling of where YWYH has taken, is taking, and will take me, but it is where I’m meant to go. Regardless of everything I could possibly feel or know, YWYH knows what’s best for me, and the right ways for me to grow, change, and develop into what He desires of me. Most don’t understand the notion of disagreeing with someone’s actions entirely, but loving them to the fullest extent regardless. At times, I can’t muster it in the slightest. But, it is the most heartfelt desire of YWYH with your heart, spirit, soul. He didn’t create us for sin and death, but in the love He gave us, allowed us the choice to choose Him or not. Of course, He doesn’t want us to choose sin, but the love He holds for us even still is ever flowing. For YWYH is love and love knows no bounds. I’ve been wrestling the whole ideal of grace, forgiveness, and humility and this is something that He’s presented me with through that.

Many blessings.

‘Vegas Skies’ by The Cab

“‘Cause you’ve stole my eyes & I’ve never looked back.”

(Source: whenwewereyoungandreckless)

"‘Let’s stop saying love and truly express it in our actions. Live in truth even if your heart condemns you, for Abba is vaster then them.’"

—

1 John 3:18-20.

‘We are called to love all.’

We did this group participation in church where the speaker spoke a phrase, and then the group as a whole would respond with another phrase. It ended with the title of the post. Boy, was I convicted in this. How many times have I harbored hatred towards those who don’t accept me, who don’t believe what I believe, who are being hypocritical in the faith. And, lo an behold, I’m the one who’s being hypocritical. I’ve been researching and exploring more into the ministry of Heather Veitch, an ex-porn star and stripper who is a Christian minister to women in the adult industry, and the way she handles her life and what she stands for is so beautiful. It also makes me evaluate myself, and question where I stand in every aspect of my life. I am by no means a person of strong influence, but when I think about how I’m perceived by those around me, and my past experiences, I don’t want to be remembered for my harsh judgment upon someone who isn’t of the same belief as me. I don’t want to be remembered for hate upon someone else,  ever.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” - 1 Samuel 16:7.

I feel that this verse sums up a good reason why we have this issue with judgment, which is a escalating issue with the Christian community as a whole. We, as I believe due to the human condition, are prone and easily choose to judge what we perceive on the outside. I am very much guilty of this, but I am addressing this in order to help and remind myself to work and change this. We are so quick to debate and argue over what stance is correct, and I feel that this is pointless. It doesn’t change or allow one to change their perspective. If we are going to truly follow and live out loving all, we should really challenge ourselves to remove the judgments and preconceived notions we have about other people, toss them away, and be willing to step away from ourselves in order to fully love.

ecstasyofdeath:

“Jamie and I had a perfect summer together. With more love than lots of people know in a lifetime.  And then she went, with her unfailing faith. It’s been four years but the vision of Jamie walking towards me will stay with me forever. Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I’ll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”

What I learned today in church.

• Marriage/Relationships are not about falling in love or making love, but about being love.
• Marriage/Relationships are about displaying an empty love life.
• Joseph chose his Bride over his Pride, because if he chose Pride, we wouldn’t have fulfilled prophecy of Jesus.
• Jesus learned to express how the relationship with God is like a marriage through what he learned from Joseph.
• I am ready to be love and to empty my love life unto others, since I don’t have to be in a relationship or married to do so.

Love Note #1

Hey there future guy,

I want to start talking to you now, because I want to prepare myself for when you actually are in my life. You are in some ways, but there’s no time like the present to start expressing things. To start off, I am a handle full. I won’t sugar coat anything. I’m a basket case full of unnecessary junk. Of issues that bother me: big or small, of actions of impulse, of regrets in my life: guilt-filled, or just things I’ve not done because of my present situation, but I want to be able to tell you all of these and more because you’ll be able to handle them. You’ll be able to handle me. It’s a very comforting fact, that when I meet you, you’ll be able to walk and talk alongside me and help me carry my horrible load. Want to know something else? It’s reciprocal. I’ll be able to handle all of your junk too. What a blessing that will be! I’m praying for you all the time, no matter where you are in life. God will provide you when the timing is opportune, no matter who impatient or upset I am in that fact. I wouldn’t have it any other way, when the pieces fall where they may in the end.

Until we chat again,

Love me.

Lord,

I don’t know why this is, but are people being weeded out of my life because of me or is it beneficial for them or I? Am I over-reacting or am I able to be justified in this hurt? Lord, I am in real pain, and if this is an attack against me, remove it. I don’t need anymore more distraction, but if You are the reason, I want to endure if for Your sake. Grant me the strength to weather this frightening storm. It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve experienced. Next to loosing Davey in that car accident, loosing these relationships are the closest I’ve been to death. People are held to such high regard in my life that these circumstances are hitting me like tidal waves.

I need You more than ever.

I need You.

I need You.

I need You.

I am crying out to You, my Ish.

I need you.

I love You, Lord.

Amen.

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

—

― Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

I’m questioning whether or not I truly want to be married or not, and if there is actually someone willing to be a complete equal with me through. :/.